Motivated.

Conversation between me and Clint, upon observing a young woman on a jog, her boyfriend chatting and riding his bike next to her:

Me: Hey, if you ever want to go jogging, I'll be happy to ride my bike alongside.

Clint: If you ever want to ride your bike, I'll be happy to drive the car alongside.

We are so compatible.

Hey, You!

Yeah! You! Yeah, you, with the pleurosy! Stop hacking up your lungs! Stop sleeping on the table! Finish up your hot tea and honey and go home!

I need that table! Iit has an outlet where I can plug my laptop in. My battery power is dwindling. Hurry up! Wake up and go home!

Oh, and do you have a Clorox wet wipe on you, by chance?

Addendum, 15 minutes later:

Whoops, buddy, you just lost your drawers; undies and all, while you were warming up that tea in the community microwave. You don't notice, and I'm not going to be the one to point it out.

You know what? I think I'll just head home when this battery runs down. Coffee Shop Ass has diminished my appetite for your table and chair.

Still, you should go home.

And pick up some Nyquil on your way.

Cut me off

Honey, can you hand me Mar Mytini...

and hide mar key cars?

Someone in this office...

is eating something that gives me an inclination to doublecheck that I put deodorant on this morning.

At least it's not me.